life is a mirror (how to deal with your problems)

Challenges will arise in every corner of life—your ambitions, relationships, and inner world.

But what if they weren’t there to stop you?

What if they were life’s way of preparing you for who you were meant to become?

Resistance Is Everywhere

As a man in this world, you will face massive amounts of resistance and pushback at every step of your journey.

For most men, this resistance prevents them from remaining present. It traps them in their minds, filling them with fear, doubt, and hostility toward life.

And it doesn’t matter who you are—whether you’re a CEO or a janitor mopping floors—there is no easy way out.

This is why even men with massive wealth and power destroy themselves through drugs or alcohol, just to escape the endless mirage of resistance.

Other men withdraw from the world entirely, choosing isolation overgrowth. But this comes at a steep cost:

• Stagnation and complacency.

• Resentment toward life and others.

Life’s Tests Are Your Lessons

The challenges you face daily are not random or meaningless. They are what David Deida refers to as tests in his book The Way of the Superior Man:

A test doesn’t have to be monumental—it can be as simple as:

• Sitting in 45 minutes of traffic each morning.

• Getting into an argument with your wife after a long day.

• Battling through a nagging injury that just won’t heal.

These tests challenge your presence, purpose, and integrity. They are the feminine essence of the world pushing you to deepen your strength and presence.

Failing to pass these tests—by reacting defensively or out of fear—reveals your inability to remain grounded in purpose.

The Mirror of Life

Picture life as a mirror. Every challenge reflects your strengths and weaknesses back at you. Looking away doesn’t change the reflection. Instead, the challenges you ignore only grow larger and harder to overcome.

Why would a man avoid the mirror? Because truth is often ugly.

Here’s an example:

• You’ve been married for 10 years.

• When you first got married, you were fit and sharp. But over time, you grew comfortable, stopped going to the gym, and developed lazy habits.

• Your wife hinted at wanting the old version of you back. Maybe she even took subtle jabs at your ego or became less interested in physical affection.

Instead of addressing the truth reflected in the mirror—that you’ve let yourself go—you ignored the problem and blamed her for being distant.

Over time, she lost interest in the relationship. She became more focused on her career, her ambitions, and her social life. One day, you came home to find her bags packed.

What began as a small problem—neglecting your health—turned into the massive problem of losing your marriage. All because you refused to confront the mirror of life.

Transformation Through Challenge

True growth begins the moment you stop retreating and embrace life’s challenges head-on.

When you approach obstacles with love instead of fear, certainty instead of doubt, and humility instead of ego, those obstacles transform. They become steppingstones to:

• Greater clarity.

• Unshakable confidence.

• Stronger relationships.

As you move further along this path, tests stop feeling like problems. They become opportunities to grow deeper in your purpose and relationships.

You no longer shy away from challenges because you understand that they refine you into a man who is not just strong—but a leader in love, purpose, and action.

The Masculine Goal: Freedom

The ultimate goal of the masculine essence is freedom.

For men, freedom means living with:

• Authenticity.

• Purpose.

• Presence.

But this freedom isn’t handed to you. It’s earned by confronting life’s obstacles.

David Deida explains:

Principles for Facing Life’s Challenges

To embody your masculine essence and embrace the tests of life, follow these four principles:

• Understand that life and your partner are not testing you out of malice. The world isn’t your enemy, and neither are women. Life’s challenges exist to serve your growth, just as you exist to serve the world and others.

• Release the urge to react and stay present. Reacting defensively to situations prevents growth. Instead, ground yourself in presence. This is your superpower—your ability to remain fully attuned to the moment, no matter what’s happening around you.

• See obstacles as opportunities for growth. Just as lifting weights builds your physical strength, life’s tests build your spiritual, mental, and emotional strength. Be solution focused.

• Always respond with integrity. Integrity means staying aligned with your values, even in the face of adversity. It’s better to lose a battle with your integrity intact than to compromise who you are and win.

The Defining Choice

Life will test you. So will your relationships.

These tests aren’t punishments—they’re invitations to grow into the man you’re meant to be.

The resistance you feel from life isn’t malicious—it’s life’s way of preparing you for something greater.

The only question is: Will you face the challenges head-on, or will you back down?

Your response defines the man you’ll become.

Hope this helps.

Cade Rector