The average man is unrecognized and overlooked by the world.

They fail to attract quality people, opportunities & relationships in their life while a select few effortlessly seem to light up every room they are in.

In a world that has never been more intertwined through technology, there has never been more social rejection and genuine unhappiness than we see now.

So many people struggle to make friends, find romantic partners and live a socially abundant life.

An estimated 1 in 4 adults experience social isolation, which can significantly impact their physical and mental health.

Studies suggests that 80% of single men have stopped dating altogether.

There are clear signs that a majority of people are struggling to curate a healthy social network in real life.

What good is it to have all of the money and success you desire in the world with nobody to share it with, nobody to have a laugh with, nobody to conquer with.

Its not about having more quantity of relationships, but having more quality relationships.

The goal is to experience life with people you love.

To build things of value to the world with people you care about.

To raise a family that carries on your last name for generations to come.

To leave behind a legacy for those coming behind you.

You want the woman you are with to be genuinely attracted and pulled to you.

You want your friends to respect you.

Kids to admire you.

These are fundamental elements of not only human desire, but human needs.

The good news is there are certain characteristics you can acquire within yourself that can drastically improve these areas of your life.

You can have the woman by your side deeply in love and attracted to you.

You can have a network of quality humans in your life who help you and push you to be better.

You can attract people to you naturally by simply adopting two distinct traits that all human beings are drawn to.

The first is competence.

The second is compassion.

Lets dive into the first characteristic; competence.

Every single person you meet, whether its a woman you are courting or a business partner you are dealing with, are all deeply pulled by competence.

People want to be around other competent people.

Competence is defined as the ability to do something successfully or efficiently. It encompasses having the necessary knowledge, skills, and abilities to achieve a task or perform in a specific area effectively.

When it comes down to it, competence is about being able to get shit done.

Its about saying you are going to do something and then actually doing it.

Competence is desirable because it's scarce.

There is a world full of low skilled "cogs in the machine".

If you want to stand out from the crowd and attract people to you effortlessly, become exceptional in at least one area of your life.

Pick a hobby, a trade or a profession and seek to become the best in the world at it.

Even the habit of trying your best is enough to separate yourself from the rest.

There's another thing about competence, becoming competent in one area of your life will teach you the skills, traits and habits that will help you become competent in all areas of your life.

At the end of the day it really boils down to trying your best, not quitting when things get difficult and learning from your mistakes.

The reason most people live lives of massive failure and regret is because when life punches them in the face, they pack their bags and go home.

They don't have the grit, mental resilience and fortitude to continue to fight even when they don't feel like it.

Take not of yourself on a minute by minute basis, are you really trying your best?

Are you genuinely giving it everything you possibly have to be the best you can be?

My guess is probably not.

Lastly, but maybe the most crucial piece of competence is learning from your mistakes.

This requires genuine periods of time throughout your day and week to sit and reflect on the actions you have taken.

It takes real focus and intention to think about what you are doing, why you are doing it and how you are going about your day.

When you think back on the day, did you say anything you shouldn't of said? Did you sleep in when you should've got up early? Did you delay a task for another day when you were supposed to get it done today?

Most people don't use their brain in this regard.

They don't really learn from the mistakes they have made. Majority of the time they don't even realize they have made a mistake because they simply just aren't paying attention.

If you can do these three things, even in just one specific area of your life, you will become exceptional.

Next comes compassion.

Often times the extremely competent tend to be lacking significantly in compassion, and vice versa.

Compassion is the ability to recognize and empathize with the suffering or struggles of others, coupled with a desire to help alleviate that suffering.

True genuine compassion has a powerful effect on others that makes people feel truly seen, valued, and understood.

These are fundamental needs every human craves.

When you make someone feel important, when you validate who they are, when you spark a light inside of them you leave a massively positive and radiant affect on them.

This affect is irresistible for most people.

You build an immense amount of trust, value and reciprocity doing so.

The karmic energy will come back in and reward you beyond your belief over the course of a lifetime.

Now when it comes to compassion, it can be as simple as looking someone in the eyes with your head slightly tilted, nodding slowly, showing that you are really paying attention.

It can be holding the door open with a smile and wishing someone a good

It can be cleaning your table up after your lunch and leaving a kind note to the waiter after you leave.

In a similar way to competence, compassion can become a habit.

Here are three actionable practices to put into place on a daily basis to become more compassionate, and in return, much more magnetic and attractive.

1) Proactive active listening.

We already covered this briefly, but what this really comes down to is really genuinely paying attention to when someone is speaking to you.

I am guilty of this myself, but so often we are in a dialogue with another human being and we are basically not paying any attention to what they are actually saying at all.

This shows the opposite of compassion, it shows that you simply don't care about the other person or what they have to say.

Not only does this make the other person feel unheard, it makes you look like an asshole and you don't even realize it.

A lot of times its not that you are an asshole, its just that you are preoccupied with your own mind and your own clutter.

You need to learn to pay attention when someone is speaking, look them in the eyes and give them the courtesy of listening with an open heard and an open mind.

2) Become curious of other people.

Why do we love children so much?

Its because children are curious by nature. All they do is asking question after question after question.

Its not just that they are curious but its where the curiosity comes from, a place of love and awe for the world.

As we grow older, most of us lose touch of the child like curiosity we once had.

We lose sight of just how fascinating human beings and the world are.

I would encourage you to cultivate this curiosity within yourself again, and don't ever lose it.

When you find yourself at events, in discussion with other people, wherever that may be, learn to dig deeper and ask questions that go beyond the surface level.

This is how you get to know people and build true bonds with people.

Don't just ask how there day is going, ask about what's most important to them, how they grew up, what they are struggling with and why.

This is a habit you can build within yourself.

Curiosity is a trait that will take you farther in life than you can imagine.

3) Develop Mindfulness

Last but not least, the number one trait to acquire in yourself for all realms of human interaction is mindfulness.

Everyone you see around you is distracted.

Scrolling Instagram and tiktok, without any degree of control.

If you can begin to develop mindfulness within yourself you will instantly become a more effective, charismatic and attractive person.

Most of the reason why we lack compassion is because we lack mindfulness.

When you are distracted you aren't paying attention.

When you arent paying attention you cut corners, expose yourself to danger and create chaos in your life.

Begin by simply meditating every morning.

Spending time in prayer.

Going for long walks to reflect on your day.

Mindfulness is simple but something you must practice on a daily basis or you will become distracted.

You can have an edge in business, relationships and life just by simply having a clear mind in absolute presence as you go about your day.

Do not underestimate this practice and overlook the power behind it.

If you begin to put these practices into place, and develop both competence in your field and compassion in your heart, you will become someone that other people want to be around.

By building yourself into this type of person you will attract endless opportunity to your life.

You will become someone capable of massive change and have the ability to influence other people.

Competence means getting shit done.

Compassion means helping other people along the way.

I hope this helps,

Cade Rector